How to Be an Adult in Relationships

“Love can be confused with clinging that is welcomed by the other, sexual desire that is satisfied by the other, or neediness that is fulfilled by the other. Love can even be confused with dependence, surrender, conquest, submission, dominance, gratification, fascination, pain, or addiction. I may feel that I love you because you love me, or will not leave me, or will not let me feel lonely, or will not make me feel anything. I may feel I love you and say it with passion when I am mostly reacting to the way my own needs are being met through you. I may say “I love you” and simply mean, ” I am attached to you and it feels good.”

If you want to know more about love and relationship, you could read “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving” book by by David Richo.

Anyone in a relationship should read this book. It’s written with an incredible amount of insight about the nature of relationships, the partners we pick, the psychological material we bring, and the inevitiable vagaries of what happens when two people are in love. I especially liked that the authors don’t “dumb” down the discussion, like so many other books, which address you like you’re an eight grader.